The last Champions League quarter-final to go to a penalty shootout was so long ago it featured a player who is now 53 years old.
Before you all shout out the answer at once, yes it was Dutch midfielder Phillip Cocu (most recently seen guiding Derby County to the bottom of the Championship) playing for PSV Eindhoven versus Lyon in April 2005. Both legs finished 1-1 and PSV won the shootout 4-2, going on to lose to AC Milan on away goals in the semis.
Other players who featured over the two legs included Mark van Bommel, Gregory Coupet and a 22-year-old Michael Essien. Yes it was some time ago.
Anyway, if it is to be 19 years before the next one, we should savour the twists, turns and fans ruining their own player’s concentration of Manchester City v Real Madrid.
A penalty shootout to forget for Man City 🫣#UCL pic.twitter.com/heNbuZbabd
— Football on TNT Sports (@footballontnt) April 17, 2024
It is City’s first shootout in the Champions League, because they normally score at least three goals in every match and win comfortably. Madrid’s last one came in the 2016 final when they beat city rivals Atletico 5-3. The only player involved in that shootout who is back tonight? Lucas Vazquez. More on him in a bit.
The coin toss goes City’s way, not once but twice. Captain Kyle Walker beats Nacho and elects for the penalties to be taken in front of the North Stand — the opposite end to where Madrid’s away fans are. And Walker also chooses that City will take the first penalty, which statistically speaking gives them a slight advantage.
City penalty 1 – Julian Alvarez
For someone who has played in a World Cup final, Alvarez looks incredibly nervous, like a guy who is about to propose to his partner but he does not have a clue what the answer is going to be.
He walks up to the spot briskly, but without the ball, a crucial object in the forthcoming penalty kick.
While Alvarez waits, referee Daniele Orsato delays things further by having his chat with the two keepers about not jumping off their lines.
Alvarez exhales, he still looks visibly tense, the ref blows his whistle… three seconds pass… then he unleashes a beauty of a penalty into the right side of the net and says what were you worried about? A fist bump of relief; 1-0 City.
Madrid penalty 1 — Luka Modric
In contrast, Modric looks completely unfazed as he briskly skips to the penalty area like he is popping to the shops in the morning to buy some milk.
The boos are plentiful, Ederson has his arms outstretched in that way keepers do to make themselves look bigger, a tactic stolen from the cat world. But Modric is 38, this is his 525th Madrid game, no panic, he’s been there, done that and is so old he probably bought the Bros T-shirt.
But hang on, Modric goes bottom left and so does Ederson, strong right hand, good save from a decent penalty. There is no big celebration from Ederson. From Modric there is a flailing on his right hand and he shouts a word, probably sranje.
Before he exits stage left, Modric has one final part to play in this shootout… in frustration he hoofs the loose ball left-footed high above the bar, into the North Stand.
Two fans grab hold of it.
City penalty 2 — Bernardo Silva
There’s no football. Bernardo has his arms outstretched in the universal body language for “wtf”. So does the ref. The ball is still in the North Stand and whichever City fan has it isn’t giving it back.
After a few seconds it is lobbed onto the pitch and Bernardo jogs over to retrieve it. He looks stressed.
The average time for all other penalties in this shootout between the previous penalty being scored/saved and the referee blowing his whistle for the following penalty to be taken is 36 seconds. Between Modric’s penalty being saved and Bernardo being able to take his penalty, there is a wait of 60 seconds, almost double the others.
Is it this lengthy wait that causes Bernardo to produce one of the worst penalties seen in major shootouts in the modern era? We can only speculate and/or decide whether to give the Portuguese an excuse.
Bernardo Silva shoots straight down the middle (Simon Stacpoole/Offside via Getty Images)
But history won’t remember the delay. History will just remember him shooting straight at Madrid keeper Andriy Lunin, who neither flinches nor moves as he simply catches the ball that has been kicked directly into his hands.
Modric kisses both his fists in relief. His work is done.
Madrid pen 2 — Jude Bellingham
With his uber-confident demeanour, Bellingham wouldn’t look out of place in a UFC or wrestling ring. He stands over the ball on the spot, he stares at Ederson and walks backwards while maintaining eye contact in a manner which metaphorically asks the question: “Who’s the daddy?”
Bellingham twirls around to his left (having walked backwards in a straight line), he takes his time (there will be seven seconds between the whistle and him striking the ball, the longest wait in the shootout… Bellingham scores on his own time) and sidefoots into the bottom left corner. Ederson drops to his knees. Bellingham is 10 years his junior but at this moment in time he is also his daddy.
Bellingham only has eyes for the away end now, pointing one finger in their direction as he jogs back to the centre circle, then he lifts both arms up to them and shouts: “Come on then!”
City penalty 3 — Mateo Kovacic
This is the quickest turnaround for a penalty so far (32 seconds), because that’s the way Kovacic wants it.
He walks quickly to the spot, inhaling via his nose and then his mouth, walks back, stares at the ball, waits for the whistle… he wants to get it over with.
Meanwhile, 50 yards away in the centre circle, Kovacic’s former Chelsea team-mate Antonio Rudiger is pointing animatedly to his left, the keeper’s right, in a bid to tell Lunin where he thinks Kovacic is about to put his penalty.
Bottom left, nowhere near the corner, easily saved by Lunin. Rudiger celebrates, Modric looks at him gleefully. Kovacic looks ruefully to the floor, then to the sky. Neither area offers him comfort or advice, unless the stars have aligned to read: ‘You should have taken your time mate.’
Madrid penalty 3 — Lucas Vazquez
When you have had the gumption to take — and score — the first penalty in a Champions League final shootout, this is nothing.
So chill is Vazquez he is doing keepy-ups as he ambles towards the penalty spot.
He does not need to embroil himself in mind games with Ederson, so stares directly at the ball from the very edge of the area, dead centre, then shuffles to the left ala Bellingham… then he stutters, not once, but twice, the crowd booing his every step… and he goes bottom left. Goal. Into the inside of the side netting in fact. Ederson, as after the Bellingham pen, drops to his knees as he angles the other way.
Vazquez just nods his head as he jogs back to the centre circle in a manner that states: ‘Hell yes.’
Kovacic shakes his head again. He knows.
City penalty 4 — Phil Foden
Another brisk penalty from City, this time Foden is in a rush as he heads straight to the box, sticks the ball down, takes five paces back and is ready before Ederson has even turned around to watch from the right of the box.
No nonsense from Foden, who goes left as well, the fourth penalty taker in a row to do so, with an emphatic strike. Lunin goes the opposite way.
There is no reaction from Foden, just a stress-free businesslike penalty, which is exactly what City need.
Madrid penalty 4 — Nacho
Foden appears to have a word with Nacho as the two walk past each other but Nacho is unruffled.
It’s all very straighforward and cool from Madrid’s captain as he goes to the right corner (the first in this direction since Alvarez) and Ederson, again, goes the wrong way.
City penalty 5 – Ederson
One of the best penalties so far comes at a big pressure moment and from a goalkeeper. If Ederson misses, City lose, but far from flunking he guides the ball into the bottom left corner at pace, under Lunin’s hand as it’s too quick for him.
No mistake from Ederson (Naomi Baker/Getty Images)
Lunin looks a bit peeved, as well he might. Ederson follows the ball into the net and picks it up.
Madrid penalty 5 – Antonio Rudiger
Was it always planned for the centre-back to take the decisive penalty? We can’t be certain of that, but we do know Madrid made some late changes to their shootout strategy.
Davide Ancelotti, manager Carlo’s son and assistant, earlier prepared a piece of paper on which he wrote down the potential takers. Substitute keeper Kepa Arrizabalaga was involved too.
“Thanks to Kepa’s help, and talking to the players, a couple of them were modified,” said Davide Ancelotti. “We are the ones who decide and if one says he is dead, we change. That’s how it’s done, but it comes from the coaching staff.
“Many wanted to take a shot. The only one who didn’t want to was Militao because Ederson said he knows him (from the Brazil team).”
Apart from the Bernardo delay, this is the longest wait between penalties at 44 seconds, but there is no delay on anyone’s part but Rudiger’s.
He wants to take his time. In fact Madrid take 38 seconds on average to take their spot kicks, with City at 33 seconds (not including the Bernardo one). It speaks to Madrid’s composure and Rudiger epitomises that. The ref is talking to him as he puts the ball on the spot but Rudiger is a picture of focus and completely ignores him, keeping his eyes squarely on Ederson as he walks backwards and lets out a deep exhale as the whistle sounds.
Ederson has kissed the left-hand post a few seconds earlier wanting good fortune to shine on him and City, but despite the keeper and the ball going in that direction, he can’t reach Rudiger’s excellent penalty. It’s over.
Rudiger runs at full pelt towards his team-mates, goes for a big knee slide and is swamped under a huge pile-on. Kovacic is on his haunches with regret on his mind. Bellingham heads to the away end with the fans — and celebrations — on his mind.
(Top photo: Naomi Baker/Getty Images)
